Self Compassion

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I have been trying for the past couple of days to try to develop a more positive attitude in the mornings.  I still think this is worth the effort and may be helpful to some degree.  But, after reading this quote today (from Grace to Survive), I realize that at the same time  I must not condemn myself for feeling badly.   This is what I was doing.  Seeing it as another shortcoming in myself.  Seeing it as a sign of weakness.  I am not hard on other people; I need to stop being so hard on myself.   Compassion is not pity.  It is empathy with understanding I think.   So, tomorrow morning I will not berate myself.  Instead,  I will remember that the pain is not my fault and accept it, yet gently invite myself to think upon the good and even wonderful things that life has to offer.

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The Critical Ones

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If you are looking for some honest feedback from me you will have to request it passionately.  As someone who has had enough criticism to last a lifetime from my mother and first husband, I don’t like to dole it out to others.  I understand that healthy criticism can be helpful; but, its been rare that I have been on the receiving end of this type.  I think healthy criticism should include comments about what someone did right, along with remarks about what could have been better.  A spirit of  humility should also be present.  After all, it is just one fallible human’s opinion.

But how do you withstand criticism from those that are hyper-critical?  Those that consistently  tear others down rather than build them up?  Some you can kick to the curb and get on with your life.  But others are a permanent fixture in your life.  I think it helps to recognize that the criticism says more about them than you.  They have issues. Probably, they do not feel very good about themselves or were subject to a lot of criticism growing up.

But, how do you handle it?  Can a certain response decrease the amount of negative feedback you get from the critical ones?  I am looking for ideas on how to cope and respond to this dilemma.  Please share your ideas if you have any.

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