The song from Filosofa’s Word today brought back memories from my childhood. Our House, sung by Crosby, Stills and Nash, articulated my dream. My home then was filled with sexual abuse, physical abuse and mental abuse. I dreamt of meeting a wonderful, kind man and having a home together loving each other My daydreams included the vase with flowers, the fireplace and at least two cats! This song was a lullaby to me. This dream has remained elusive. Two marriages later, one to a malignant narcissist, and the other to a quiet man who became mute ( passive aggressive manipu lation) when he was displeased with me. Despite these husband’s efforts to make me miserable, I did carve out happiness after the birth of my son and had thousands of wonderful times spent with him. Approaching sixty years of age, my desire for a lovely man with a comfy home seems unlikely. Now, I share a home with two roommates, one of which is a malignant narcissist who enjoys bullying and creating misery (I am starting to think they are cloning narcissists somewhere secretly since I have known several). After two years living with her, I no longer engage in friendly activities or drive her anywhere, and have told her we are no longer friends. And just recently, I started to sing very loudly to drown her out when she tries to speak to me! It is weird, but effective -Ha! Anyway, this lovely song was my anthem, but now I need to have other dreams. Unless, one of you reading this blog knows a very nice man who would be willing to relocate so that I can live somewhere near my son (about an hour away would be fine, I don’t smother him!) I have a very loving heart, about thirty pounds overweight, a fine sense of humor, and auburn hair and blue eyes and look very Irish. I like to write, swim, play Pickle Ball, listen to music, sing, enjoy animals (I now have a talking parakeet), color, attempt to make art at times, and play both the guitar and piano poorly (Ha!). Unfortunately, I do laugh at my own jokes since I often have no idea what I am going to say and am just as surprised as others listening to me at what comes out of my mouth. But, I will keep looking for new dreams in case this plea on this post turns up no one. LOL!
I keep having these strange days where nothing quite seems as it should be. I go into the kitchen for the sole purpose of cleaning my glasses. I make a cup of coffee, put a couple of dishes in the dishwasher, see a bit of something on the countertop and wipe it down, check the […]