Guilt, Acceptance, Denial?

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Loved thus quote and wanted to share it. Also, love twinkletoe’s blog. Always insightful and well written. Check it out.

Therapy Diaries

When I wrote yesterday’s blog I didn’t consciously know I felt that way until I had the words in front of me in black and white – one of the many reasons that I love to write. Sometimes I shock myself, yesterday was one of those times.

I’ve been thinking a lot since then about the guilt that I feel towards my narcissistic mother and yet at the same time, the pain I feel because of her. I find it really strange that I can be feeling two different emotions so intensely.  This morning I read a few articles on Google about guilt and it seems to be a very common theme with people raised by narcissists so I am not massively surprised but what has surprised me is that I suddenly feel a bit sorry for her.

Reading back my sentence about how I suddenly looked at my mother’s…

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Chances

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Image result for bing - photos of cloudy days

 

Cloudy, with a chance of…

Rain.

Time.

Opportunity.

or waste.

Will I wander aimlessly through this day or will I seize it and wring out the best it has to offer?

Each day I grow more certain that there must be a better way to live.

A better way than sitting in my recliner and waiting to heal.

Journaling and praying to a God I doubt exists.

Usually, I am moribund.  But today, I feel a quickening of my spirit.

It may disappear tomorrow, so  I must grab this lit candle that is my soul and live a different way today.

Perhaps acceptance of my limitations should be combined with persistence to overcome them.

I am wise today but tomorrow I may again be a fool.

The candle may flicker and extinguish.

But today, I will rejoice in knowing there is an ember left where I thought there were only ashes.