Sisters

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A friend of mine just brought it to my attention that I more often than not call my sister “Sister” rather than using her name.  Perhaps it is because I cherish our sisterhood and the return to being close again.  My mother was not a mother; nor my father a father.  But my sister was very much a sister —  a confidant, a companion, a friend.  We were estranged for a number of years.  We were mad at each other for good reasons.  But the anger finally dissipated, leaving in it’s wake only the feelings of loss.  We were ready to reconcile.  Love won out.  How often does that happen?  Not often enough.  Now, I can have all the memories of she and I together without the sadness.  Oh, things aren’t  perfect.  She rarely lets me get a word in edgewise during our phone conversations.  But, now I am just glad to hear her voice after missing it during our years of estrangement. And so,  I write her letters about me and my life so I can feel heard and known.  I am sure she is accepting some foible of mine too.  There has been much loss in my life in recent years: my husband’s passing , the loss of our home and some of my sanity.  But, this Christmas, I can celebrate getting back something that was lost to me — my sister.  Maybe, there is a god, and maybe this was a miracle. I don’t know.  But it is definitely a blessing.   And I am grateful.

 

TRAUMA & RESTORING FAITH

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This post by a new blog that I am following really says where I am at right now in my faith.  Perhaps others can relate to this too.

Still Beloved

“Faith is not a belief. Faith is what is left when your beliefs have all been blown to hell.”
~ Ram Dass

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All who have survived trauma know well the feeling of the broken spirit. The loss of faith that comes with having your belief system ripped out from under you.

How can trauma survivors come to a place of restoring our faith? Our faith has been built over time as we live and construct in our minds the things we believe in. Trauma can shatter those beliefs in an instant.

In her amazing book, Trauma and Recovery, Judith Herman, M.D. addresses the issue of faith. She states “(Traumatic events…) violate the victim’s faith in a natural or divine order and cast the victim into a state of existential crisis. “

In other words, we begin to question everything we have come to know.

Herman goes on to…

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