Where is the Joy?

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I think that is what I miss most.  Joy.  That exhilarating feeling that would start at my toes and encompass me to the ends of my unruly hair.  I could count on it even in bad times.  I’d usually experience it when singing and dancing by myself.  With the stereo on, I would sing and move to the music in rapture till I was exhausted.

Now, if I am not anxious, depressed, upset or sad, I am flat. Never at ease or content.  Never mind happy.  Every so often, like a breeze, I feel a sense of well-being and even as I grasp it, it disappears.  It’s like a song I once knew well and I no longer can remember the lyrics or the melody but it haunts me still.

For a long time I didn’t even realize that I had changed.  Didn’t realize that I no longer sang, no longer danced.  Perhaps remembering is the first step to healing.  Maybe, just maybe, I can feel joy again.

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5 thoughts on “Where is the Joy?

  1. Joy is fleeting. No one finds it an easy experience to encounter. Like happiness. It is also fleeting. It is impossible to feel joy and happiness in unending partitions of life. Grasping them for a short time is fortunate. These are intensive emotions, and, out of the realm of staying power. Cherish the quick, short times they appear, and when emotions are flat, bring back the memories of those cherished times. Always wishing you well, my dear.

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